Thursday, July 10, 2008

That Guy, Those Guys

I'd like to think I'm not that guy. You know the guy you do a favor for (at no benefit to you) and then he proceeds to berate you about how it turned out? That guy. I'm not him. But I am realizing that I just might be one of those guys that BSNYC likes to make fun of. No, not the fixie-crowd guys that ride around in their sister's Capri's. The other guys. The unnecessary/fancy bike crowd. One of those guys who buys cool stuff to make himself feel good about his lack of cycling prowess, as if cool equipment will make up for a dearth of fitness and talent. Let's see, I'm fat, I'm an attorney, I have several bikes for each occasion, including Serottas in the road, mountain, and 'cross variety. I don't ride that much. Yep. I'm one of those guys. Now that I've come to that realization, I've decided there's no point in fighting it. I've given in to the one last piece of magpie equipment that I don't have. Fatty had something to do with that with his beratement of Assos. I've realized that not wearing a pair of Assos shorts won't stop my from being one of those guys. So, I might as well try to see if those shorts will make riding any more comfortable, despite my fat ass. That's right, I've completely given up on pretending.


Aaron said...

Allow me to dispel your recent accusation that I'm a nerd by proffering the following idea. Every cyclist has a "that guy" rating, which is determined as follows:

"That guy" rating = (value of bike collection - speed of rider)/(bike street cred)

You've been around long enough that you have a lot of bike street cred.

Now I'll go shoot myself for being such a huge nerd.

Mr. Flynn said...

Sorry, I gotta disagree with Aaron. You are one of those guys the BSNYC makes fun of. I could be wrong, but I think the number of cyclocross bikes you own is more than the number of cyclocross races you participated in last year. Where most of us would like a really nice custom built frame--you have...let's see...5 or is it 6? And then they're the other still cool off the self bikes that many of us still dream about. The Original MSRP of your bikes exceeds the value of many bike shops' entire stock. But that is not a condemnation, at least not coming from me. It is admiration brother.

At least you are not the dork driving around in some big Hummer or something. I hope to some day be right there with ya. I still need at least another 3 bikes to go along with the four I have. In fact I was just bemoaning this the other day.

The feather in your cap is that you are not one to flaunt it. Your typical self-deprecation goes a long way. Plus, you are willing to help/feed almost anyone out at the drop of a hat. And you are willing to loan out some of you more precious assets to friends without any major strings.

No, if you are one of those guys that BSNYC makes fun of--and you probably are--so what! Rock it! Assos bibs are just the thing I think. Not many riders could handle some of the events you have done, Assos bibs or not.

I think you still use another 29er, could you not?

Fish said...

Aaron - it is safe to infer that my speed is asymptotically zero.

D - f*%k it then, I'm going to go buy a fixie and some capris so I can remove all doubt for the bike snob. I'm guessing a ti IF fixie would be just the ticket.

Mr. Flynn said...

Yep, I agree--get crackin' on it!

Morkthefied said...

Fish, you are NOT one of those guys. I envision one of THOSE guys as a skinny, desk worm who pulls up to other people on Saturday rides looking down at everybodys' lesser equipment. I think your love for cycling bespeaks: "Dude, your bike sucks and you're still out here. Way to go!" Like the time you were TAing the BYU mountain bike class, and you had no end of compliments for the girls who were riding crazy stuff in Moab with no shocks anywhere on their bikes. Yes, in the old days you acquired a ton of great equipment, but you've done better in recent years. And adding three girls to this world while working at a job to help support their future weddings hasn't allowed you the time to hump out (thanks, Anthony Bourdain) the four-hour exploring rides of your mid-20s. Keep the faith. Keep the love. You will return to your pre-young children lameness that is fatherhood. It's called a mid-life crisis. I wait for it with baited breath. I will live through it with you; begging for plastic surgery and Double-Ds.

Mr. Flynn said...

I guess I just don't get the negative connotation.

What is wrong about being one of "those guys"?

I guess I have a different perception of what one of those guys are. Bikesnob said that it is important to limit the number of bikes you have so that you don't "get soft" which is I guess what happens when you get used to all the luxury the comes from having too many nice bikes.

I don't think that there is necessarily any requirement that the person thinks that he is better than everyone else. This may be true at times, but I don't think it is a requirement to be one of those guys.

I have a looser definition of "those guys". You just have to have about a 6 or more bikes that have all been carefully chosen for various particular purposes. They don't need to all be expensive. Have three bikes with only slight variations for any one particular sort riding automatically qualifies you in my opinion. YMMV.

I am one of those guys probably. the problem is that I just don't have all of them at the same time because of money, space, and a wife imposed bike limit (recently risen to 4!) I plan to slowly continue my journey toward a Leno-like collection of bikes and to be one of those guys. I promise not to look down at anyone as long as they ride a bike and they are NOT the guy on the carbon gee-whiz bike that wants someone at a shop (me) to change his tube because he doesn't know how and can't be bothered with learning. I reserve all of my disdain for that asshat.

Sorry for the long comment.

Sabrosa Cycles said...

"Aaron - it is safe to infer that my speed is asymptotically zero."

The Limit of That Guy as Bike Street Cred approaches infinity. Shoot, I love this math stuff.

I almost wonder if you could plot the relationship between the value of bike collection and bike street cred and find the area under the curve that it produces. That might prove to be more meaningful.

Aaron said...

Jon - thanks for making me only the 2nd biggest nerd on Fish's blog.

By the way, I think the formula should be updated so that "speed of rider" is substituted with "ability of rider." That way, it accounts for the fact that you can hammer on your TT bike, as well as pick out a nice line on your mtb.